“The Good Old Days”

familypic“The days are long but the years are short” said the old lady in the produce section. She had a look in her eye as if she thought I was living her  “good old days.” Little did she know that I had to buy a bag of french fries from the deli in order to keep my two Toddlers from climbing out of the cart. Little did she know that I would realize I forgot the milk as I drove away. Little did she know I haven’t slept in 3 years and that day in particular, I felt like I was waiting for the “good old days” to start.

You know…the days that we look back on and wish we were there again. If only I could relive the day I packed my Jeep with my friends and went driving up to a mountain where the bonfire was blazing and we all laughed-heads-flung back until 2am. If only I could relive sleeping in until 10 am and then walking down to Pike Place Market to eat handmade scones and White Velvets. If only I could relive living in Laguna Beach, walking across the street to dip my toes in the Ocean as the warm sun-kissed my forehead. I’ll never forget the time I flew to Fiji and found myself eating a Turtle and washing my hair in a creek. If only I could feel that wild and untamed fire again. If only I could relive falling in love with Jason again. We sat on a grassy hill, he scooped me up in his arms and then he told me he wanted to take care of me. It was the first time that sounded really really good, and the first time I trusted someone enough to do it. If only I could relive those “firsts” and the intense feelings they brought with them. Oh man…”the good old days”

What I have come to realize is that I have lived two lives in 35 years. My first life, I was a child and I lived as child. The world revolved around me and it was supposed to be that way. I did what I was supposed to do. I wrapped my arms around the world and played with it like a child plays with a ball. I flung myself into the unknown and I landed on my feet. I took big risks and experienced the rewards. I was wild and free.

In my second life I am creating a world I have already experienced, for my children. Now, my job is to teach them how to be strong, brave, and kind so when they enter their second life, they are prepared. I get to encourage them to fling themselves into the unknown and be their pride when they land on their feet. I must hold back on taking risks so I can be around to watch my children take their own. I choose to work harder and play less so that I can insure that they have the resources to wrap their arms around the world without hesitation.

What the wise lady knew is that my children are creating new “good old days” for me. These are just as good as the good old days because love is what will matter most at the end of our days.

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